Alternatives to a Father Daughter Dance at a Wedding.

 One of the first dances at traditional American weddings is the dance between father and daughter. This ritual symbolizes the shift in the guardianship of the bride from father to groom. However, the father of the bride is not always present at the wedding for a variety of reasons, whether he is deceased or otherwise not involved in his daughter's life. Even if he is present, the tone of the wedding can be such that the father and daughter dance is not fitting for the occasion. Fortunately, several creative alternatives exist.

Godfather and Goddaughter.

When a child is born or adopted, often parents will designate close friends or other family members to be the godparents. The role of the godparent is to stand in for the adoptive or birth parents in the event that they cannot be there or have passed away. The bride's godfather is an excellent substitute for the father in the father-daughter dance.

Mother and Daughter.

Another alternative to the father-daughter dance is the mother-daughter dance. This is an option for families with alternative lifestyles. For example, the daughter of a lesbian couple, rather than having a mother and a father, has two mothers. The bride can dance with one or both of her mother’s as an alternative to a wedding tradition that might not resonate with the female-headed family.

Memorial Segment.

Brides whose fathers have passed away could choose to replace the father-daughter dance with a segment honoring the memory of her father. During this time, his favorite song can be played while slides of the happy times shared between them can be projected on a screen. Or, a candle can be lit and flowers can be placed by his photo by the bride, commemorating his memory while mourning his absence.

Uncle and Niece.

If the father of the bride had a brother, commonly he will step into the fatherly role for the father-daughter dance. A creative twist on this more popular alternative dance is possible if the father of the bride had more than one brother, each brother can dance with the bride for part of the song.

Invitations and Announcements.

When a parent of the bride or groom is widowed, use the surviving parent's name on the invitation or announcement. If she hasn't remarried, a widow uses her married name, just as she did when her husband was living.

Ceremony Planning.

When a parent is widowed, the role that the spouse would have played in the ceremony can be conferred on a close relative. For example, if the bride's father is deceased, she might ask a brother, uncle, or cousin to escort her. If the widowed parent has remarried or has a significant other with whom you have a close relationship, honor him with a role in your ceremony.

Ceremony Seating.

Traditionally, the groom's parents and the bride's mother are seated after everyone else. The groom's parents take their seats in the first row to the right of the aisle. The bride's mother is then escorted by an usher or groomsman to her seat in the first row to the left of the aisle. If the groom's mother is widowed, she should be escorted to her seat by an usher or groomsman. If the groom's father is a widower, he may walk to his seat unescorted.

Sometimes the bride asks both parents to walk down the aisle with her. If her father is deceased, she may ask her mother to escort her. In that case, the bride's mother would walk with her and then take her seat in the first row.

Reception.

The reception usually features a first dance led by the bride and groom, followed by the bride dancing with her father, the groom with his mother, then the parents of both the bride and groom dancing together. If a parent is widowed, hasn't remarried, and isn't in a relationship, ask what he or she would prefer to do in this situation. The widowed parent might prefer to sit out the dance entirely or to dance with the person who stood in for her deceased spouse during the ceremony.

Financial Details.

In the past, the parents of the bride were expected to pay for most of the wedding expenses. The groom's parents were responsible for the rehearsal dinner, and the groom paid the officiant and picked up the tab for the groomsmen's incidental expenses.

Today, many couples pay at least part of their own wedding expenses and, depending on their financial health and their parents' situations might pay for all of the costs of their wedding. If you're depending on your parents for help with expenses, be sensitive to the altered financial situation of a widowed parent. Although he might want to help, it could be a strain to do so. Don't insist on following outdated rules if they don't make sense for those involved. Discuss the wedding budget with all of the parents and work out a plan that's fair for everyone.

Courtesy: Best wedding planner in Lahore.